“In the memory you’ll find me”

RIP Chester Bennington

When we listen to music, multiple areas of the brain are activated including those associated with movement, planning, attention and memory. It changes our brain chemistry as well. Listening to music we enjoy stimulates the release of dopamine that makes us feel rewarded.

This post is going to be raw and honest, so if you are uncomfortable talking about depression/suicide awareness please do not read, for those of you who are, then feel free to continue.

This is a very personal topic, but I think it should be talked about and it should not be something you should be ashamed of. Like everyone in this world, I have had struggles in my life. My family, relationships, peer pressure, bullying, etc. I have always been affected when I know I am being judged by others. Its something that I still struggle with every day. Why? I am not sure. Why does it matter what someone else thinks about me, when I know I am the best version of myself everyday and strive to be a good person in a harsh world.

I suppose this is human nature. Its a natural reaction to a feeling of hurt. Sometimes when people think of depression, they think “ok your in a bad mood, go on a walk and cheer up”. Unfortunately if you suffer from this, you know this is the worst response possible, and it gives you a helpless feeling. You try to reach out to others and they don’t understand the severity of not just “being in a bad mood”, but being depressed.

I’m writing this because I have gone through these suffers, and I understand the hardships of depression. Being in the medical field, I’ve seen people who call for help, and they do not receive it. It ends with tragedy because they lose hope. They have no one to turn to, no one to listen. No one should ever feel this way.

I hope our society can try to understand mental illness’ more, and contribute to those who are suffering. You can save a life, you can be someones strength. What better feeling could there be, knowing you saved someones life?

Again, this post is very personal, and I hope it can reach anyone who is struggling, or needs to reach out for help. My door will always be open to a complete stranger, a friend, a family member, anyone who is facing a struggle. Remember you are not alone. You are important, and there is no one in this world like you.

Crisis Hotlines
24 hours / 7 days

St. Louis Calling Area
(314) 469-6644

Click here for other resources for anxiety and depression.


  1. I really can relate and still struggle with depression and aniexty. I had a rough relationship that was made harder because of the extreme emotions I was born with. It feels like no one fully understands and just thinks I being dramtic or asking for attetion. That’s the last thing I want when I’m upset. Now my so strughles with the same deep feelings and I try to explain how I feel sometimes and the things I do that help and he shares ideas with me too. That is why I choose the Boxer to breed. They are perfext anxiety assist animals. All dogs are amazing but there is something about the emotions in the boxer’s eyes. Always excepting and just wanting to love and be with you no matter what. I love seeing peoples faces when they pick out their puppy and the instant spark. I’ll never forget the look on you husbands face. It is still my favorite pairing. I am so glad you are part of boxer family! You are wise beyond your
    years. 😚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Jess. Thanks for caring. I’ve struggled with depression and being too sensitive to what others think and project on me too. Gradually I’ve learned better self-care, and remembering to connect with others helps a lot too. PS, thanks for following my blog and kudos on your new blog. blessings, Brad

    Liked by 1 person

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