Before you arrived
Before you arrived, I was nesting like a lunatic, I decided a theme for your nursery and mommy and daddy were ON IT. Well mostly daddy doing things, that mommy had to have done NOW, although we were still 3 months away from your arrival (you just never know).
Before you arrived, mommy had cravings like no other for PIZZA. You’ve seen my blogs about pizza so far? Oh that’s nothing. Momma had to have pizza 3-4x/weekly just to keep you and her satisfied. We pushed through the acid reflux because it wasn’t a choice, it had to be eaten. No pizza left behind, greatest motto of all.
Before you arrived, we constantly questioned, “are we ready for this?”, “do you think she’ll love us?”, “do you think we can do this?”. Although they were valid questions, they didn’t matter, because no, we were not ready for this, yes, she will love us, and yes we can do this. It was the most bittersweet feeling in the world awaiting for your arrival with all of our fears and “what if’s”.
Before your arrival, I had no idea of the way you would change our lives. I had no idea the amount of unconditional love that would follow you out of my body and into this world. I had no idea, that I could love your father anymore than I already did. I had no idea, seeing him hold you for the first time would make me fall in love with him again, on a more deeper level that I never could imagine was possible. I had no idea how the amount of beauty you would bring to our lives.
Previously seeing my OB, I was having a lot of issues with high blood pressure, so bed rest became the order for the last week or two. It was boring, but it allowed me to really mentally prepare for your arrival (as much as you can mentally prepare.) Dr.P and I had discussed my options due to having high blood pressure, having small hips which would probably cause the end result being a c-section anyways, so I personally decided on a scheduled c-section because I felt more comfortable knowing this plan, and having her in a stable environment, although I knew I would be undergoing major abdominal surgery. It was MY CHOICE. What a nice perk of living here in the good ol USA.
Talking to others, I had a lot of comments of “oh your just having a c section” as if I was less of a woman for having the surgery instead of pushing. Apparently I was “taking the easy way out”. First off, that was the scariest experience EVER, and my husband had to watch his wife get her abdomen sliced open, with my organs laying outside of my body. Easy peasy, right? And the recovery…is hell. Pure hell. Especially when your epidural falls out 2 hours post surgery, and no one caught it until day 2 (I guess this was why my constant button pushing was giving me no pain relief from my PCA). Needless to say, it wasn’t the “easy way out”, I am just as much of a woman as any other mother, no matter which way she gave birth and no one can convince me differently. Side note: after having her, my OB informed me there would of been no way she could’ve came out the natural way even with only being 6#1oz, so looks like my motherly instincts were correct and I made the right choice.
After you were born
After having you , we spent about 30 minutes with only you, daddy, and I to get our one on one time, and get the chance to do skin to skin and have you latch on, before being bombarded by visitors. It was the first time our completed family was together, and it was magical. It was natural, and I was in awe of your beauty. I was in awe of the way you responded to our voices, knowing who we were, simply by being in my belly for 9 months and hearing us talking and singing to you daily.
No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you’re the only one who knows the sound of my heart from the inside.
After coming home, I don’t mean to brag but you were an amazing sleeper since day 1. You barely fussed, and we’re so snuggly and perfect. We all (including Kai, our loving boxer) had a undeniable bond, and our family was officially complete. I am so grateful for your heart, your happiness, your ability to make my day brighter simply with a smile, and so much more. Having you has been my greatest accomplishment in life, and I am so thankful everyday I have you. You will forever be my baby girl, and I vow to protect you until my last breath, to teach you right from wrong, to help shape you into the amazing beautiful successful woman I know you will become, but until then I vow to cherish every memory we have together, to make the worst situations into something positive, to be your rock, to always communicate with you, support your decisions in life, and be an open and understanding mother. I will never make you feel like you aren’t good enough. You will always have me on your team NO MATTER WHAT.
10 months later, the conversations start 😅😂
Enjoy guys, and have a great day!