I hope today is treating you well. I hope everything is going as planned, and there are rainbows and unicorns surrounding you. If not, then I want to give you some realistic things to ALYWAYS remember, even on your worst days.
First, take a look in the mirror. See that person staring back at you? That person is unique, and NO ONE in the world will ever be like that person staring back at you. Not a chance, no matter how hard they try. You have so many talents that no one else can match, your personality is unique and like a snowflake you cannot be duplicated. Let’s continue looking. Those flaws that you wish you could change, could be something that another person may be wishing they possessed.
You have freckles? Pure beauty. You have a gap in your teeth? That’s so unique, and gorgeous. The list goes on and on, and better than anything, it makes you, YOU.
Something that I have personally struggled with regarding my appearance, is being underweight. Have I always been small? Yes. Did I just have a baby and am still skinny? Yes. Does this mean I am trying to make myself look this way? Absolutely not. The only person who knows my personal intentions with my body are ME. The only person that has permission to make assumptions regarding my body, is me.
I’ve had multiple people come up to me, saying “do you ever eat?, “someone should not be that skinny after just having a baby.” To answer your questions, yes I do eat. Just because I had a baby does not mean I should be bigger than I am. If you want to call out this “flaw”, maybe you should try to understand it.
Did you know that I suffer from anxiety and depression, sometimes so severely that I am unable to eat, or get sick just by trying? Did you know that I have familial hypercholesterolemia (high cholesterol) so I have to watch what I eat due to the fact that this puts me at a higher risk of a heart attack at a younger age? Nope, I bet you had no idea.
This is life. People do not take the time to understand flaws in others’, but they are quick with pointing them out, making you feel like your not good enough. I think most of the time people say hurtful things not even realizing it.
Another personal example are from members of my own bloodline, some people I call “family”. I’ve once overheard “talk” about how I didn’t put makeup on, and my hair looked like a mess…. and I was going to LET MY FIANCÉ SEE ME LIKE THIS! With this, my question to you is, “when did you become a supermodel?” “When did you become Tyra Banks, and the judge on America’s Next Top model, that I surely did not try out for?”. Since when did you become entitled to bully someone based on their looks, better yet for any reason? (Fun fact: My now husband, has seen me at my absolute worst, and he continuously showers me in compliments, even when I’m feeling my worst.)
Looks are a tiny fraction of a person. Like many of us, I am unable to look perfect 24/7. Do I wish I could, sure but I am proud of who I am inside and out, and when it’s all said and done, that’s all that matters.
Some things that I try to remind myself of daily:
- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth
- Happiness is found within
- You can only fail if you quit
- Kindness is free
- Opinions do not define your reality
- Things will get better with time
- Everyone’s life journey is different, so do not compare.
- Forgive yourself for yesterdays mistakes
- Be the best version of yourself
- Take a timeout. Now take 5-10 long deep breaths (in and out) and regroup
- The past cannot be changed
- Be the change you wish to see in the world
- Be compassionate, humble and kind.
- Express gratitude
- Learn to say “no” without explaining yourself
- Promote a better world, anytime you can
I write this, being the mother of a almost one year old, going on 13. I will teach her the importance of being a good person, and to stand up to bullying, whether she is being bullied or she see’s others’ being bullied. I will teach her morals that I think are important to be a good person, and I will set her up for success the correct way.
I will always remind her how beautiful and unique she is, and never let her forget that there is no one in the world like her. I will teach her to respect every person regardless of color, shape, or size. I will be honest with her about how harsh this world can be, and give her the proper tools on handling the curve balls that will be thrown at her.
I hope you can relate to this post, and I hope it can possibly help you during a time of struggle. You are not alone. You are beautiful and perfect, just the way you are.